Be Careful What You Say in Front of the Ficus

Banana and (pretty tepid when I drank it) tea

If I saw this in a spy film, I would think it utterly preposterous, and yet The Guardian tells me (and who am I to question them) that whatever I say in the presence of a potted plant I say to all and sundry: or at least to all of the sundry that have the wherewithal to visually record the imperceptible (to the human eye) vibrations of a nearby ficus and translate its quiverings into the very thing I said.

How long before James Bond is getting his intel from a packet of hula hoops?