Peak Fruit Fly

Strawberry, banana & spinach smoothie
-- with basil, almond milk & cayenne pepper

Never mind Peak Peak, we've reached Peak Fruit Fly in our flat. The bon mot may have reached it's zenith, but the insectile community currently plaguing our existence (in so far as an existence can be plagued by an overabundance of be-winged settlers hellbent on colonising anything that is in any way related to fruit) shows no sign of shuffling off into fondly recalled obscurity.

Seemingly anything fruit-related will serve these miscreants. This morning -- having dispersed a cloud of them on grabbing a banana -- I fell upon another clutch revelling in the scanty remnants of former grapes (wine residue in wine glasses). Their habitat destroyed (Miss S emptied the compost last night), the little buggers have emigrated to other corners of the kitchen, scattering in skittish fashion whenever one should wander near by. Little do they know that this weekend I intend to rain down on them an assault like none they have known before… Tips welcomely received.

Breakfast the One-Hundred-and-Thirty-Eighth

Cinnamon & raisin bagel with raspberry jam and green smoothie again.

I look absurd. (More absurd than normal that is.) I woke up this morning with a sore lower eyelid on my left eye, which was a little swollen. Over the course of today it has got progressively more sore, and more swollen.

I now look like some creature is going to burst forth from my eyelid (I hope not). I can't think why I ever watched Alien, or that channel 4 series about parasites, insects etc that burrow inside you and lay eggs and what not. Yuck!

Breakfast the Eighty-First

Doppelganger shreddies & Special K with blackberries.

It's not yet midnight, but surely, surely, this is the Guardian's April Fools' Day article:

"Western diners should get used to the idea of eating insects because by 2020 it is 'inevitable' they will form an important part of our diet, according to the entomologist who heads up the world's first university centre focusing on insects as a food source.

"He argues that consumers who have traditionally turned their noses up at six-legged food may have to change their minds as conventional meat becomes more expensive and scarce."

Wouldn't people just eat more vegetables instead?

My most triumphant April Fools' Day ruse came in my third year at university when I convinced my lovely flatmate that the ceiling in her bedroom had fallen down. There had been a small leak before she left for the Easter hols, so I called her up and told her a tall tale about a ferocious storm and lashings of wind and rain... I didn't string it out too long: didn't seem fair. Obviously though, I have nothing on the people of Panorma and the Spaghetti Harvest of 1957.