Breakfast the One-Hundreth-and-Seventh

Chocolate wheetos and banana.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a phone in possession of predictive texting will turn out garbled nonsense. Some recent gems from a friend include: "super doorstep" (super duper); "just missed junction off nounstaw" (motorway); and "wonderfed if you damaged a glass of wine in pub" (wondered and fancied).

Curiously, my phone won't learn my name. Every now and then I forget this and optimistically attempt to enter my name in a oner, rather than typing "ion" space "a," and then deleting the space, as is my wont. Here are some of the "words" my phone deduces I must want when I attempt to write my name: Goma, Homa, Imma, Inma, Inna, Hona, Honb, Honc, Hon2.