Breakfast the Fourth

Muesli with banana, yoghurt and honey.

Today I had two glasses of wine. Apparently this was sufficient alcohol to prompt me to reminisce about the school nurse's preoccupation with cystitis: whatever the ailment – sprained ankle, soar throat – a visit to the infirmary always elicited the question "does it burn when you pee?"

It was also enough wine to convince me to share my head-lice story... When I was about 13, I went to the nurse telling her that I was pretty sure I had nits; because attention seeking was rather rife at my school (all those homesick girls I suppose), she sent me on my way. Bizarre really as if I had been after sympathy I would have concocted a rather more romantic affliction – consumption perhaps. By the time she finally believed me, the infestation was such that I required pints and pints of head-lice shampoo (my hair was very long). And woke up the following morning to a nit Somme on my pillow.

I don't know how we got onto the subject of school nurses.